Kathy Brooke, co-founder of Be Your Own Coach, continues her mini leadership series by examining what trust really looks like in the workplace. Drawing on her experience with teams and leaders, she argues that trust isn’t a one-off act or a tick-box exercise but is instead built in everyday interactions and showing up for people. She shares how leaders can create trust intentionally, and why it matters for team performance, engagement, and long-term success.
What is trust? When I think about trust, I think about trust in action – where I feel trust (to give and receive), when that trust was built, and how trust can be repaired.
For many of these examples, it doesn’t feel quantifiable. Was it the moment I told a friend something private and they kept it private? Does that moment earn them my whole trust?
How about in relationships? Is trust confirmed through the sharing of vows or an updated Facebook status/ deletion of Hinge?
Maybe it was when you asked a family member to pick you up from the airport and they were there waiting for you – and even paid the £12 parking for a 15-minute pick-up.
Then I think about how we introduce the concept of trust to a child.
“Can you be trusted to look after this pen?”
“Can I trust you to complete this piece of work?”
Trust is often demonstrated as a binary concept.
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So when we bring this idea into the workplace, many leaders and managers feel they show trust to their teams either through the delegation of tasks and responsibility, or through the absence of communication – aka: “I trust them to do the job, so I leave them alone.”
The challenge here is that with the first example (task-based trust), this is only a surface level of trust. The trust only exists if the outcome or achievement is visible.
The second example – not getting involved – paradoxically suggests that trust is displayed through absence.
I want to challenge these ideas.
Firstly, trust isn’t a destination. Yes, trust is earned, but it also needs to be maintained, developed and adapted – and that requires constant work and input.
When I work with successful teams, trust is almost invisible. It’s the garden soil beneath a lush green lawn – quietly doing its job, but in constant need of nurturing so the grass can thrive.
Trust isn’t in the grand gestures – that’s responsibility.
Trust is built in the day-to-day.
It’s asking how your team member is feeling because you know it’s their child’s first day at nursery. Then the next day, it’s checking in to see how that first day went.
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It’s remembering your team member’s football team has an important game that evening and asking if they’re excited.
It’s making sure your team member has everything they need ahead of a meeting you know they might feel apprehensive about.
I guess what we are really saying here is that trust is dedication.
This doesn’t mean we need to spend hours each week running through a list of Mr and Mrs questions:
“What’s your favourite food?”
“What do you do on Saturdays between the hours of 3–6pm?”
“What is your dog’s least favourite 90’s boyband?”
But what it does mean is we create space. Space for conversation, for sharing and for community.
We do this by being curious and modelling the behaviour ourselves. Maybe we share something personal, or ask for advice, allowing our team to see that it is safe to be open and vulnerable.
I recently heard a CEO joking with a colleague about being deep in a sleep regression cycle with his new baby, asking the team if they had any advice.
I mean, it sounds like the leadership equivalent of a Hallmark greeting card example, right?
But the message remains the same: if you model conversation and care, it will be reciprocated.
After all, trust is a two-way relationship.
So why is this so important?
By sowing these “small-stuff” seeds, you are subconsciously letting your team know that you care and that you are dedicated to them – not just their delivery and their metrics, but them as a human being and as an individual.
When a team member feels a deep sense of trust on a human level, they can push out of their comfort zone. They can do the difficult thing. They can show up as an advocate for the business because they feel backed and supported.
No amount of KPI-hitting creates that level of dedication.
That’s dedication which is being reciprocated.
All of this sounds great – these quick “water cooler chats” and passing office comments – but what if you are leading a hybrid or fully remote team?
Without scheduling yet another meeting to discuss… life stuff… How do we do this?
A few ideas come to mind.
1. Make your 1-to-1s human.
Show up with an open, relaxed manner. If the team member senses this is “just another meeting” and you’re rattling through an agenda, it becomes a tick-box exercise, which does more harm than good.
2. Open calls early.
Consider opening group calls five minutes early so people can join and say hello before you get down to business.
3. Share positive moments.
If you work alongside other team leaders, share appropriate updates (non-confidential, of course).
“Oh, Jenny mentioned you got a marathon place for next year! That is amazing! When does the official training plan start?”
This opens the conversation naturally and shows genuine interest.
4. Protect connection time in person.
If you do have time together physically, build space for connection and collaboration. These days are often tight on time, but this is an investment you cannot afford to skip.
So next time you’re looking to cultivate trust – perhaps with a new team member, someone you want to strengthen your relationship with, or simply to continue investing in your existing team – remember this:
Trust and responsibility may coexist, but they are not the same thing.
To reap the benefits of responsibility, we must first sow the seeds of trust.
Be patient.
Be intentional.
Be present.
Be dedicated.
Feel free to reach out and share your experience of trust in leadership (the good, bad and ugly!) [email protected].
