Kathy Brooke, co-founder of Be Your Own Coach, kicks off a new leadership mini-series by challenging one of the most common assumptions about what makes a great leader. Drawing on her experience working with leadership teams, she explores why the qualities people remember most aren’t metrics or strategy…
Leadership.
Ahh, it’s a funny old word.
Is it a title? A role? A pay grade? Quantified by results or responsibilities?
Within my corporate professional development work, I frequently have the honour of being invited into businesses to provide custom workshops and programmes to support leadership teams.
I love to open these sessions by asking the team: What makes a strong leader?
Often (but not always!), I receive an abundance of metric-based answers:
“Someone who delivers on the team’s goals.”
“Someone who has a clear plan.”
“Someone who you know will get the job done.”
Yet here is the curveball…
When I present my follow-up question – “Can you give an example of when you have been on the receiving end of great leadership?” – the answers paint a completely different picture.
Stories of support through difficult times and guidance in personal and professional struggles. An individual holding space for someone. A leader being open and honest about tough times. The knowledge that someone has your back unconditionally, and the evidence of a person acting with integrity and authenticity – in alignment with their word.
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These stories are often told with a softness, a fondness, a level of admiration, and always with the utmost respect.
Now… before we go any further here, let me highlight that this isn’t a game of pick your side. When I push on these ‘softer skill’ stories, I discover these same leaders were the ones who took companies to new heights, grew teams, smashed ceilings and paved the way for great success – but ironically, this was almost an aside in the conversation.
So let’s start by saying: yes – you can be both.
I have intentionally opened our March leadership series with this anecdotal piece because I am aware that not everyone reading this will have the word leader or leadership on their CV – or more importantly, their LinkedIn – just yet.
That doesn’t mean you cannot be a leader in your own right.
Yes, the metric-setting, business strategy and decision-making might not be within your remit (right now), however, the qualities of leadership we are going to discuss are behaviours and traits you can explore and implement in your role today.
To be a leader in your role is to be someone who is respected, trusted, communicates with honesty and acts with integrity and fairness. That also sounds like someone who would be top of my list when any professional opportunity for advancement arises.
Another assumption I often hear when working with leaders is the pressure of self-expectation – the belief that you must have all the answers.
This is a very narrow and wobbly tightrope to walk. Often it comes from:
- a lack of clarity in the role
- a lack of experience in the unknown
Many leaders are bestowed with the title due to high performance in their role. They are used to doing something a certain way (their way), getting great results and feeling that warm, fuzzy pride in recognition (hey, we all have an ego!).
Suddenly they are entrusted with team members who all have their own minds – damn it!
These new leaders are presented with different options, new solutions, creative thought processes and – heaven forbid – even new ideas (please note the satire here).
For many, this provides opportunity. But for some, it creates space for the fear of failure to enter the chat.
What if that idea doesn’t work?
That’s not how I would have done it – so I cannot guarantee success.
It’s a massive risk. Is there a chance this could fail?
Alarm bells start sounding, panic sets in, and before you know it you are micromanaging more impressively than a circus puppet master after a double espresso.
Any trust that had started to build is slowly eroding – but we will talk more about trust next week.
I say this to hopefully cut the ties to perfection and introduce the concept that, as a leader, you are not supposed to have all the answers.
As the prestigious researcher and author Brené Brown famously said: “The difference between great leaders and mediocre leaders? Great leaders are learners. Mediocre leaders think they know it all.”
Only by finding curiosity and peace in the unknown, accepting that collaboration is key, and harnessing the inner confidence that you can handle whatever is thrown your way can you lean into your own leadership style.
So, as we begin to explore the theme of leadership over the coming weeks, let’s start by acknowledging how you show up as a leader – title or not.
Maybe think about how your colleagues and coworkers would describe you as a leader.
Your traits. Your behaviours. Your qualities.
Where do you think you have opportunities to develop?
And how can you start to make small changes to test out these new ideas?
As a good friend once said to me, you can’t read the label from inside the jar.
Maybe now is a great time to seek feedback from colleagues, peers and senior leaders to gather a 360° view of how you are perceived as a leader – your strengths and your opportunities for development.
Remember: leadership isn’t an outfit. It isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Great leaders are authentic.
They are human.
They are real.
Yes, we can dissect the traits of those we admire, but we must weave them into the fabric of our authentic selves – and that will look slightly different for everyone.
Please let me know your thoughts on great leadership ([email protected]) and keep your eyes peeled for next week’s column all around trust in leadership.
