Kathy Brooke, co-founder of Be Your Own Coach, takes a look at what effective feedback really looks like in leadership, arguing that vague praise and softened criticism often miss the mark. Here, she makes the case for clarity and intent, sharing practical frameworks leaders can use to deliver feedback that drives performance, trust and growth.
This week it’s all about feedback. Now, when we think about feedback in leadership and management, we normally think of the challenges around giving negative feedback – and yes, we will absolutely cover this – but I actually want to start with the impact of giving positive feedback and how, if you get it right, this can inspire and guide your teams to high-performance success.
As leaders and managers, we can see positive feedback as a way to engage and motivate our team members. A pat on the back. A recognition of someone’s efforts. A celebration of success. However, over time, these white-washed comments of ‘good job’ and ‘well done’ can not only lose value and impact, they can also feel performative and often become disingenuous. Also, these well-intended comments often have little substance and do not actually provide any tangible value.
Imagine you are at a cake-tasting event. In front of you are five glorious cakes, diverse in flavour, texture, filling and icing. As you lick the fork clean from the fifth and final dessert (I’m thinking red velvet with a white chocolate ganache), the baker looks to you for feedback.
“Oh my gosh – they were all delicious. Thanks, bye!”
What on earth does that poor baker know about your taste? Your preferences? Absolutely nothing. All they know is that you’re probably not diabetic.
This is the same with professional feedback. As much as we think we are being motivating and positive with generic feedback, we are missing an opportunity to let the individual know why or how their actions resulted in a positive impact. How can we expect them to repeat this if they are none the wiser?
Let’s say you are on a call with a team member who was speaking with a client. The client was challenging, yet the team member handled this well.
Instead of: ‘You dealt with that really well’, we want to be specific so the team member can be proud of their actions and behaviours, learn, and repeat this in similar situations:
In the coaching world we LOVE an acronym (and a cheesy quote, but I’ll spare you that), and for positive feedback, I think the SBI model ticks all the boxes, short, sharp and effective – so let’s use it here:
S – Situation: WHEN and WHERE did the event in question happen, ie: “Hey, I wanted to talk about the client call this morning…”
B – Behaviour: The WHAT. What did the individual do that stood out? Get clear. Ie: “You had clearly prepared so well for that with your questions, and you handled the objections perfectly by taking a pause, acknowledging the client’s feelings and presenting ideas…”
I – Impact: HOW did the behaviour have an impact? The bigger picture. Ie: “It really allowed us to gain more information around the client’s needs and build a sense of trust. I truly believe that was why we won the work.”
This feedback is clear, highlights areas of success and gives the individual tangible examples of what works and why, so this can be taken onboard in future scenarios. Everyone wins!
But what about negative feedback? Eeeek!
Before you even go into these conversations, you need to think about your intention.
I highly doubt you are gleefully skipping into a meeting, enthralled by the concept of ruining someone’s day.
Usually with negative feedback, the intention is to help the individual improve. Many people feel nervous when giving negative feedback, but as long as you are clear on your intention, you can be confident in the knowledge that you are there with the best interests of the employee at heart.
Ok, so let’s get into it.
There is a common phrase (which I doubt I am allowed to type in a business publication) which is a form of feedback where the negative part is sandwiched between two positive slices of bread. You know the phrase. Well, research shows this approach is ineffective at evoking change and can lead to feelings of manipulation, distrust and insincerity. Why? Because we all know what is really going on. We all know when we are served one of these proverbial sandwiches.
This doesn’t mean we open the meeting room door, throw in a feedback grenade and then run for cover; it means we use an approach which is clear, sincere, supportive and forward-focused.
There are hundreds of acronyms and models for this, but I’ve chosen one which I personally find covers all the bases and is flexible enough to be personable with structure.
IDEA:
I – Identify: Before you go into the meeting, identify what you, as a manager and leader, are trying to accomplish. What is your aim? What is your intention?
D – Describe: We need to ensure the individual knows exactly what we are referring to. Describe the event and the behaviour. Describe the impact on themselves, the team and the business. We cannot expect change if we are not clearly identifying the issue and its implications.
E – Encourage: This is why I like this model. Encouragement doesn’t mean inspirational quotes and a high five on exit. It means knowing the individual and finding evidence of where they have overcome challenges before. Where have they succeeded? Where have they shown resilience? Empower with evidence.
A – Action: If we want to see change, we need action, so what will it be? This is where we empower the team members to share how they will move forward. How can they take responsibility and accountability, and how can you support them? You may also choose to add checkpoints or measures here if needed.
Ultimately, great feedback, whether positive or developmental, comes down to one thing: clarity with intent. When people understand exactly what they did, why it mattered, and what to do next, you move beyond surface-level conversations into real growth and performance.
As leaders, our role isn’t just to comment on what we see, but to shape what happens next. So next time you give feedback, ask yourself, is this just a moment of acknowledgement, or an opportunity to truly make a difference?
