If you’ve ever been asked to present, pitch, or speak in public, chances are you’ve felt the fear at some point. Kathy Brooke, co-founder and coach at Be Your Own Coach, unpacks why speaking up can feel like you’re under ‘threat’ and how a subtle shift in awareness and intention can transform panic into purpose.
Let’s cut right to the chase … Most people dislike public speaking.
Pretty much every week, I find myself standing at the front of a room of high-performing professionals, kicking off a workshop by asking how many people don’t mind – or even enjoy – public speaking.
The odd hand creeps up, along with a few “comme ci, comme ça” waves and maybe the occasional pained, defeated expression. However, what is most astonishing is not the self-confessed candidates – no – it is the sheer disbelief and horror on the faces of the other 92% of the room, who struggle to comprehend that anyone could actually tolerate the concept of standing up in public.
Before we get into the nitty-gritty of public speaking and presenting, I want to take a moment to highlight that it is completely normal to dislike it – regardless of status, role, age, or any other metric.
Over the past decade, I have worked with CEOs of global businesses, elite athletes, and even professional performers (yes – people who get paid to be on stage!) who have faced crippling anxiety and overwhelm at the thought of public speaking. So, if you can relate, don’t worry – you’re in good company.
Let’s start by looking at the why behind the fear of public speaking. To explore this, we need to travel back a fair few years – back to Old Stone Age times with our hunter-gatherer ancestors.
It is widely acknowledged that humans are tribal creatures. We thrive in groups, seek out communities, and find security in neighbourhoods – we call it “safety in numbers” for a reason.
Back then, being part of a tribe or community wasn’t a choice; it was a mechanism for survival. Safety, food, protection, mating opportunities – all our basic needs were dependent on our tribe. Being rejected or ostracised by the group was a literal death sentence.
As a result, we evolved to be on high alert to any risk of vulnerability or exposure.
Now, let’s fast-forward to modern life.
Although we might not face the same dangers as back then (I’d probably call your local authority if the threat of being attacked by lions, tigers, and bears is real), we are still programmed to seek safety in numbers and to be accepted in our social environments.
At school, we strive to fit in. In social situations, we endeavour to make a good first impression. I even remember begging my parents for pet stick-insects because some of the “cool kids” at my dance class had them – that’s a story for another day, but let’s just say those little critters reproduce fast and en masse!
We gravitate towards safety and security, so is it any wonder that the moment you’re asked to stand up in front of a room and present the latest company numbers, your mind goes completely blank and you start to wonder, “Do I even work here?”
When we feel under threat or exposed, our brain kicks into protect mode, flooding us with a mild-to-severe fight, flight, or freeze response. For many, this shows up as overwhelming anxiety, intense nerves, and an inability to think clearly – cue the dreaded blank mind.
For others, it presents as vocal challenges: the uncomfortable lump in the throat, changes in vocal stability, the constant need to swallow, or speaking so rapidly you’d think it was an Olympic sport.
Over the coming weeks, we’ll explore all of this in more detail. For now, let’s start by addressing that pesky threat response.
Seeing as your brain is only trying to keep you safe, it’s pretty counterproductive to get annoyed or frustrated with it (and good luck trying to ignore it). It might sound strange, but the quickest way to quieten the internal noise is actually to acknowledge it, recognise it, and let it know that you are safe.
That might sound like this:
“OK, I’m noticing that I’m feeling anxious and nervous about this presentation. That’s OK – it’s actually pretty normal, considering this is outside my comfort zone. I appreciate the warning, but I am safe, and I’m choosing to lean into this discomfort. I’ve got this.”
Notice we’re not standing in front of the mirror chanting “I am a strong, confident winner,” nor are we proclaiming ourselves to be an expert. We’re simply acknowledging reality and choosing to move forward, one step at a time.
When we acknowledge what’s happening, we can turn down the internal alarm and move from panic to plan.
So, what is the plan?
Start with your intention. What are you trying to achieve by speaking?
If you walk on stage with a deep desire to be liked, you hand your audience the power to determine your success or failure – not a solid starting point.
However, if you decide on your intention beforehand – why you’re there, why the information matters, and what problem you’re solving for your audience – you reclaim control.
Updating the team on a new policy? If you don’t share this, there could be serious repercussions.
Pitching to a new client? You’ve been invited because they have a problem you can solve.
Presenting to your team? Why is this information important for their continued development?
As soon as you know your why, you can communicate with confidence, authenticity, and purpose.
So next time you’re shaking in your boots:
- Acknowledge the feeling
- Rationalise it – it’s normal
- Get task-focused: What’s your intention? What problem are you there to solve?
Remember, progress takes practice. Aim for the small wins – and enjoy the journey. Next week we will be covering all things pace, rushing and delivery, so stay tuned!
