Continuing Prolific North’s guest column series this month, Kathy Brooke, co-founder and coach of Be Your Own Coach, tackles why stepping outside your comfort zone often feels harder than it “should” — and how understanding what’s really happening in your brain can turn discomfort into confidence.
We are officially over two-thirds of the way through January! Hopefully, you are still strongly in pursuit of your intentions and goals for 2026 (if so, you have already beaten the stats). But this doesn’t mean it’s all going to be smooth sailing…
Any form of change or new pursuit is likely accompanied by some form of resistance, and pushing out of your comfort zone is not supposed to be easy. If it was, it would be called sauntering to success.
So let’s look at where the discomfort comes from, and how we can learn to lean into this, and use it as fuel for the fire.
READ MORE: Leaders need to play the long game to motivate their teams
We are going to start at the control centre of everything, AKA the brain. Don’t worry, we aren’t going all heavy on neuroscience here (it’s still January after all), however there really is power in knowledge. If you can understand a little behind the what and why of the brain’s inbuilt responses, you gain more control over how you respond.
Contrary to popular opinion, the brain’s primary function is not to post on LinkedIn and create marketing strategies – its main job is to keep you alive and safe.
It does this by regulating systems, processing information, and drawing on past experience. One key element of safety comes in the form of repetition and predictability.
If we repeat certain actions and get the same predictable result (and we are safe) = winner!
However, the moment we do something new, our brain cannot guarantee the outcome and therefore cannot guarantee safety.
This is where our brain, with the best intentions in the world, sends stress signals. We often refer to these as fight, flight, or freeze. I know you’re probably thinking this applies to being chased by a lion, not sharing your thoughts in a meeting – however, that tightening of the throat, the negative thoughts, the procrastination around a new task? Yes, they are all versions of the fight, flight, or freeze responses.
Your brain just gets a little trigger-happy with stress hormones and presses ‘SEND IT’ when it might not be necessary. But it’s only doing what it knows – keeping you away from perceived discomfort or threat.
So what does this have to do with pursuing your professional goals?
Well, chances are, if you are working towards something new, levelling up, or trying to be more vocal in your role, these behaviours are not your ‘normal’ for that environment. This is often when the ‘SEND IT’ suggestions appear.
Most commonly, I see this play out as:
- Procrastinating over new or big tasks
- Losing your train of thought when sharing an idea
- Not advocating for yourself or sharing successes
- Staying ‘in your lane’ (when no one assigned you a lane in the first place)
At this point you might expect some generic coaching in the form of an inspirational quote. I would hate to disappoint, but the best I’ve got right now is “Live, Laugh, Lean Into The Unknown”, which I don’t think will make it past the B&M home décor team.
However, no amount of positive thinking is going to quieten a stress response when your brain believes you are unsafe.
The only way to work with this response (notice the emphasis on working with, not eliminating) is to acknowledge it.
If a threat hasn’t been acknowledged, the brain will continue to send signals, often increasing the intensity.
Imagine a fire alarm going off. Does ignoring it make it stop? I hope not!
You might recognise this if you’ve ever tried to power through a presentation you felt anxious about. By minute four you’re speaking at 100 miles per hour, mind gone to jelly, quietly wondering if the ground might open up and swallow you whole.
When we acknowledge how we are feeling, we let the brain know: “Thank you for sounding the alarm, I can take it from here.”
This doesn’t mean we accept and agree with the signal or retreat back into our 2025-labelled box. It means we take control and choose our response.
Back to the fire alarm analogy. If the alarm sounds, we acknowledge it, realise it’s the weekly 11am test, pause, and then carry on with our day. That’s working with the alarm.
We don’t acknowledge the alarm, grab some ladders, rip the thing from the ceiling, and chuck it out of the window. This would be working against the alarm, which ultimately is stressful, unhelpful long term, and God help you when the building services team shows up!
When it comes to pushing out of our comfort zones, working with the alarm means recognising unhelpful thoughts, rationalising them, and deciding how to move forward.
Acknowledge how you’re feeling.
Rationalise it – it’s normal.
Remind yourself that you are safe.
Then give your brain a plan of action: prepare, jot notes, talk it through with a colleague, take small steps.
Some days will go to plan – celebrate these. Repetition will make them the new normal.
Some days will feel like you’re back at square one. Give yourself some grace; after all, you didn’t learn to walk on the first try, and progress is rarely linear.
Whatever your journey, keep moving forward, one foot in front of the other – the December 2026 version of you will be so glad you did.
